Blind Eye

I feel sorry for my parents because when they fight I can't do anything about it. I have to take a neutral stand because having the guilt of doing something wrong would just kill me.

Especially when they do nothing wrong and lie. I'm very good at figuring out lies because I'm observant about life...and only life and little things. Not the necessary things, but the almost useless pieces of information. I can't help but point it out and tell them what I think of it. I have to keep an I don't care attitude because I know if I don't I won't be able to stay the person I am.

No matter how hard it may be, I have to forget. Forget and move on with life.

Running a mile

In P.E. today, everyone said that we were going to run the mile and the teacher even said that we were going to since we weren't able to do it on the Wednesday like we normally do it since the temperature was through the roof and it probably would have killed us.

So, since we were going to run the mile, I really didn't want to but after the first lap of following my friend who I followed the last time and managed to get a really good mile score on, I prepared myself to run another 3 laps without stopping.

But of course, this always happens when you prepare yourself, the teacher says stop and that we don't have to do the mile and we only ran 2 laps, half a mile. I felt pretty good but I was kind of pissed off at having to stop right when I had prepared myself to finish the mile even though I was glad we didn't have to do it anymore.

I guess its just the way human minds work. When they give us a lot to expect, we prepare well because we know its going to happen since its been done before, but at the last minute they pull a turn around on us and tell us that it was worthless that we prepared but its a good habit to always be prepared for anything to happen.

All in all, prepare for what you don't know will happen and cover your arse. Or just cover everything and be as safe as possible.

Allergies

Today I had allergies. They make me realize that I really am human. And the fact that I can only do so much before getting tired.

During P.E. I fell asleep during the warm-ups while doing sit-ups. That fact is kind of sad. But of course in all humans, in some way or place we all have a part of us that is weak and not as strong as we want it even though we all know we want to be like superman.

So today, life goes on and home is a sanctuary to the poor commoner's soul.

A chair with a short leg

Today was an advisory day. A day with an extra class that makes all the other classes shorter than they already were with the late start day.

Advisory class is a happy time for me because I get to see my friend who I hardly see at all anymore because we don't have any more classes together even though we had so many together last year. It's kind of sad but other than that it's okay. Humans make new friends and get on with their lives but I'm sure all my friends will be somehow remembered in the small amount of long term memory that I have.

During advisory, I was sitting at a table in the engineering room with a leg that is short than all the rest. As an allegory, because I'm doing allegories in English class right now, I believe that the chair that is off kilter shows the instability and indecisiveness of the human thought pattern. Sure, we all like to believe that we're stable and in control of our lives but when we look down at the big picture, we really don't know what we are or how we got here. Because although we say that science provides the evidence and religions provide the theories, no one knows for sure because no one is capable of knowing. If someone was the know the secrets of life and the universe, they'd probably drive themselves crazy like all the other people that the seemingly "sane" ones lock up in asylums and mental institutions.

When it all comes down to forget and enjoy, that's what we should do. Ignorant people are happy. Most of the time.